Insignificant.

Like a humming bird in the lushest forest

Like a spider that trails along your walls

Like an invisible cicada in the midst of the forest

Like an earthworm in the farmer’s soil

Like a caterpillar camouflaged on a tree

Like a sneaky scorpion in the endless dessert

Like a cockroach in the tallest pile of dirt,

Like a lazy snail inching across the street

Or like an ant, marching across every nook and corner of the earth.

That’s how small and insignificant I feel sometimes.

I know, it’s a phase or a mood and it’ll pass, just like most phases in life. Maybe that’s why people want to do big things in life, so that they stop feeling so small. Am I really that insignificant? Did I ever mean anything to anyone? I keep reiterating in so many posts that people always matter, but I do wonder if anybody agrees with me. Does anybody really care? I also wonder why these questions are buzzing in my head at 11 pm in the night. Maybe it’s okay to feel small sometimes. Maybe we all feel small until we do something really big or someone comes along your way and makes you feel big or that you do matter. Until then, you go on with life and create as many distractions as possible for you to not feel that way. I keep thinking about what Christina Rossetti meant in her poem ‘Remember me’. It does baffle me and also haunt me to an extent. It’s an incredibly beautiful poem, but the meaning of it scares me somehow. She tells her lover to remember her when she’s dead and long gone, although she isn’t dying or anything close to it. Why does she do that? Why does that thought occur to her? Anyway, at the end of the day, we’re alone in the race of life, aren't we? Maybe we’re not. But that’s just the only way you think when you feel like darned tiny ANT at 11 30 in the night. Or MAYBE i just wrote a whole bunch of gibberish. I really can't be sure of anything. Oh, well.